Reflecting on week 5....

Week 5 of this adventure in motherhood was pretty uneventful. I started school this week so that really sucked all my free time. I had been able to take a shower and clean a bit when the monster was napping but now it seems like 9pm rolls around and I am still in my Pajamas and the house is in an ever increasing state of disorder. I think I am going to have to bite the bullet and work on myself and the house during the day then stay up late to work on homework. I hate to do that because then I am just exhausted. Like last night I stayed up until eleven working on homework. I fed her at 9:30 so I set my alarm for 3:00 so I would get up to feed her 6 ½ hours is as long as I want to let her go until we talk to the pediatrician again. I just don’t know if it is ok to let her sleep longer than that. Normally she wakes up on her own around that time so it has not been an issue. But last night I was so tired that I do not even remember turning my alarm off. I woke up at 5am because she was starting to wake up so 8 ½ hours!! So I was worried that she went so long and I figured she would eat a lot. But she was too busy taking a crap and fussing to eat. So I tried the bottle because with that I can tell how much she ate. But she still was not interested. She does not seem to be any different than normal so I put her down and got her back up at 7:00 she ate for 5 mins and then was out like a light. We shall see how she does here in a little bit. If she was acting weird I would be worried but she is fine just maybe a little sleepier than normal. I worry because we have not gotten the results of the MCAD but I would assume that they would have notified us if something was wrong. The joys of motherhood the constant state of worry!!

We celebrated Clover’s 1st Halloween this weekend. It was really nice to have all of the family over to share the evening with us. I made all kinds of neat stuff and we had pizza. Grandma came in a fabulous which hat! Clover was a Giraffe, Carl and I did not dress up this year. Normally we do but I just did not feel like it. It was odd having Halloween without my niece and nephew. My house has been the place to be for Halloween for the past 3 years and I always have them over so they can trick or treat. I have had my moments of truly missing my family and California and Halloween was one of those times. I think I just realized that the holidays are coming and I won’t see any of them for it. Not only will I not see them but they are missing all of Clover’s firsts. They have already missed so much… I do like it here. Carl and I have a much better relationship. I am not stressed like I was. Our house is wonderful. But I do miss California. I miss my family most of all. I have spent my whole life having them right there and now they are not. It makes it hard but I know it will make me a stronger more independent person. Unfortunately, even though I know that in my head my heart does not believe it.

Anyways lets move on from my downer daisy mood. The weather is cooling off and not so humid so that is fantastic!! I truly hate the weather here! If it was less humid and cooler with a breeze like it is today it would not be so bad, but it seems that is not the norm for this place. We have started to get the snow birds back. Carl has had a few run ins with them and he has decided he hates old people hahaha! What a cheerful boy. I hope this cool weather lasts because Fort Myers is having the sand castle competition this weekend. I would love to go see it!! But we are at the mercy of the weather for miss Clover.