The day before my daughter was born was absolutely perfect. My sister had flown out on the day before. So we had gotten up early went to the park with Maddy. The weather here was actually really nice for a couple days. We had opened up the entire house it was wonderful to have the breeze flowing through the house. After the park we headed to the beach!! It was so wonderful! I had been having contractions off and on Since Weds. So floating in the water was just perfect! As we swam around Carl spotted a Manta ray it was so cool! It was really big then a few minutes later a baby one swam by. Tarron and I walked the shore of the beach to help get things a moving in the labor department. We saw a neat purple, green, and shinny fish. It was just one of those days where you sit back and say wow this is just Wonderful. We had lunch and my contractions had started back up again. Tarron asked me if I felt ok because she did not think I looked to good. She said she new at lunch that things were happening.
We headed home and when I got in the shower is when the contractions really started to get strong it was about 2 o’clock. I got a little panicky because things were really happening! Contractions are not too bad it was when they got so strong that no matter what I did it did not make them better. I tried to sleep but that was futile. Finally at 2 in the morning we decided to go to the hospital.
When we got there they got me a wheel chair and to the labor and delivery floor we went. I was having lots of contractions and the nurse asked my name and information in the middle of one and Carl answered for me. Boy did that nurse give Carl the look of death. So I was huffing and puffing through the contraction and answering her questions. We got into our room and I was dilated to 4cm! I don’t understand the logic behind our labor hospitals! As soon as I got in the room they strapped me down and would not let me get up! I had to pee several times and the nurse would get all mad at me for getting up! That and laying down made the contractions feel a million times worse! After awhile the epidural doctor came in and the evil nurse had me sit up and undid my gown. I had left my sports bra on and the doc said it had to come off. Which I was fine with. But the nurse was all grumpy and practically ripped it off my head! Then shoved my face into her boobs! Got the epidural and was able to sleep a bit. They checked me again and I was at 7cm. I asked everyone what time they thought the baby would be here and they said 10 and 9 and Carl said 9:36! We continued to wait I tried to sleep here and there. Then the doctor came in and checked me again he said I was at 9cm and decided to break my water. Then when the nurse checked me a short while later I was fully dilated and ready to push. You know that queasy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when something scary, amazing, and exciting is about to happen. I got that! I keep saying over and over again in my head this is really happening! I felt just like I did before my wedding! It was just so unreal. I was crying because I was not sure if I was really ready for all of this. I was so glad that Carl, my sister, and Mama J were all there. I can’t imagine being all alone! So the nurse had Carl and Tarron hold my legs and had me start pushing. Now I will tell you that pushing is so much work it’s not even funny! So I started to push while the nurse disassembled the bed and got ready to deliver the baby. There was so much commotion going on in the room. I could not catch my breath or concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing! It was so hard! I just keep trying to listen to Carl and do what he told me to do! The thing that got me through it all was hearing the excitement in his voice when she started to make her grad appearance! See I kept my eyes closed the whole time! I don’t know why I think it was because I could see my reflection in the big bright lights above me and I really did not want to see any of that business haha! So I was thinking that she was way farther out than she was. I could not catch my breath because my legs were up to my head!! So I was exhausted and just done with the whole thing. I kept asking them to just pull her out!! But no one would listen to me!! Apparently her head was not even out yet haha! So I tried my best to keep pushing when they told me to. I could hear Carl’s excitement grow with every push and that kept me going. I knew I must have been doing something right when everyone got super excited! I remember Carl saying he could see her head. Then finally she came out!!! Now one would think that the worst part was over and you could breath. Nope! They kept my legs up at my head for what seemed like forever! Then you have to push out the placenta. Which is really gross! Once that was out it felt a little better, but yet again the worst part was not over. There was so much commotion. I saw Carl standing by his daughter. The look on his face was priceless! I have never seen so much joy and just true excitement on his face. It made me feel better knowing that I must have done something right.
They put my legs in the stirrups so that helped and let me breath. Then I realized how sweaty I was!! Egh.. It felt so gross!! I heard this sloshing noise and I thought that it was blood on the floor that the doctor was sloshing around in. Everyone laughed at me and told me no! Then the doctor said he needed to give me some shots and stitch me up! That right there freaked me out!!!! All I could think was that I was wrecked forever. I saw my stomach which looked completely hideous!!! And then he gave me some shot in a place you should never need to get a shot!! Haha! I had a second degree tear! I kept asking how bad it was then I freaked and started to cry because I knew I would be wrecked forever and ugly! It is amazing the range of emotions that you go through when you give birth. I decided then that I was done and wanted to go home! The doctor kept telling me I couldent that I needed to be stitched up. He then proceeded to tell me he could close it all up and I said go for it! I never want to do that again!!!! I could care less at that point! I hurt so bad and was so tired all I wanted to do was to go home and all the doctor kept doing was sewing which is a really sick feeling!! Egh… shutters! So finally I got to see my daughter and she was so fat and scrunched up that all I could think and say was sumo baby. She had dark hair and blue eyes weighed 9 pounds 1 ounce and 21 inches. Oh and she was born at 9:36am!! Carl called it exactly to the minute!
Giving birth is one of the hardest things you can physically do, and mentally it is just as hard. You have so many feelings that it is hard to put them into words. All I know is this is just the beginning of my new life as a women, wife, mother, and friend.
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