Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Week 16 Happy Birthday to me.....
Well things around her have been a bit hectic. I just finished my finals for Algebra and Nutrition. I got a B in Algebra and an A in Nutrition. So that is great. I really struggled with this round of classes. Having a baby and going to school is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Now I have some time off and what am I doing with my time you might ask? I'm cleaning and organizing my house oh what fun..... What has become of my life, when a break constitutes cleaning and organizing! Egh....
So Clover is getting big and is getting such a personality! She really laughed for the first time yesterday. It was so great to hear her laugh like that. I also had my I'm a Mom moment yesterday it brought me to tears. Carl had it right from the get go but it has taken me awhile to feel that way about it. I guess its just because so much has changed in my life and I am not one for change that it has been a bit of a struggle for me to see the good in things.
My 22nd birthday is tomorrow... I finally get that whole it's just another day thing. I used to always thing that your Birthday was this special day that was to be celebrated but now I just don't really feel like it. I think it may because of this awful mood I am in but I am not sure if its just the fact that I am growing up and no more princess parties for me. It is amazing how much has changed since my Birthday last year. Last year I took a pregnancy test on my Birthday and it was negative little did I know I just took it too early and a week later I got a positive one. Now I have a daughter and I live thousands of miles away from everything I knew... Strange how much can change in just one years time.
Well I think that is about it for now.....
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Week 13
Life is interesting... it is amazing how much my life has changed since last January. This is the first time in my life that I have been away from my family. It has been really hard especially since this is the time in my life when I need them all the most. However, I think it is good for me. I have always been pretty dependent on my family. Now I am becoming my own person. I am a mother and I have to fill the shoes of a mother now... I never knew that I would find my voice now that I have this life I have to shape and protect. I want to be strong for her! I want to show her the world and be a part of it not just a spectator. I have spent so much of my life on the side lines watching and now I want to be in the middle of it. I can't wait till Clover gets older and we can go exploring. I can see all ready how she will become my companion through life. I miss Carl terribly he works a lot now and we do not get to spend much quality time with one another. This has also forced me to step out side my self and do things I normally would not do. I never thought I would be where I am right now...life is interesting....
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