Happy 2010!!!!

Resolutions

Ok here are my resolutions from 2009…..

1. Get to a healthy weight by 2010 of 130-140. I have lost 16 pounds since this summer but I have 60 to go! And I’m committed to doing it this year. I have been working out almost every day and watching what I’m eating. I know I have had this resolution before but this year I WILL DO IT!!!!!!!
Well I blew this one! Haha! But having a baby kinda knulled this one. However I do weigh less now then I did last year so that is good.


2. Take care of myself. I don’t just want to lose weight I want to feel good. I have had such a crummy few years with my health and I want to get it all under control! I think my weight is a good start but I have to get really healthy!!
I do feel that I have made an effort to get healthier. I eat better now than I did last year and have been trying to work out more.

3. Keep my house clean!!!! I have been doing a lot better with it but I want to keep it that way and not let it get out of hand!
I have accomplished this goal!! My house is usually clean! Sometimes it is a bit messy but not for long!


4. Save for a down payment on a house. We already have some savings but not enough so were going to be scrimping and saving as much as possible so we can own our own home!
Well life completely took a turn this year! We no longer have the money to out a down payment on a house but that’s what happens when you are unemployed, have a baby, and move clear across the country!


5. Get a raise! I have not had one for almost 3 years so I think it’s about time I get one!
Well this failed!! Haha I got a cut in pay now I get paid in drool and poop!

6. Complete my first year of collage with good grades!!
I did good in school I only got one b and that was in my accounting class. So that is great!

So this year’s resolutions are as follows:

1. Get my stomach muscles back into shape. Being stretched so much has really taken the strength out of me! Haha
2. Lose weight (I really can’t wait till this is no longer on my list)
3. Complete my AA!!
4. Step outside myself and meet people who I can be friends with
5. Find time for myself

Well I think that is about it! Happy 2010! I hope this is a better year than 2009 was!!!

Week 7 & 8 getting into the Holidays!

Well the past couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful. We celebrated Clover's first Thanksgiving. It was my first Thanksgiving not spent with my family so it was different for me but it was really nice. Carl and I went to Ponsdelion park in the morning and walked around on the trails. It was really nice. We then got Maddy and went to Grandma and Grandpas. We had a really nice dinner! It was a very calm day.



We went to Boca this weekend it was the first time we went out there since Clover was born. We did not go out to the Beach because we did not have ones for the parking and it was getting late. So we wondered around the town. It is so quite and peaceful there, it is the one part of Florida that I love. I could spend all my time there.


We also went to Fishermen Village to get Clover's picture with Santa. We were the first ones to see Santa. Clover gave him a huge smile it was great! She looked so cute in her little dress!


It amazes me how much Clover has changed since she was born it's been just two months but it seems like she has changed so much. She is getting much more interactive with you now. She smiles and coos a lot now. She also has started kicking here legs like crazy. She loves taking a bath and kicking away. We have gotten on a really good routine! She sleeps most nights from 9 to 6 or so some days she wakes at 3am and others she sleeps all the way through till 8. It is awesome to get to sleep all night however I think the days of restful sleep are far behind me. I think I am always listening for her so I don't really sleep soundly. It amazes me to watch Carl and her interact. I knew he would be a wonderful Father but to actually see it is amazing! She is so going to have him wrapped around her little finger that is for sure.

Since this will be our first Christmas as a real Family we have been discussing what we want to do for our holiday traditions. It's fun to think about all the things that you do with your family and what we want to do with ours. My Great Grandfather always makes this foamy drink thing for breakfast so Carl and I will be doing that and were going to have sweedish pancakes as well. We want to get a Christmas tree in a week or so. I just am hoping it will cool off so we can go and it be cold because there is just something wrong with getting a tree in shorts and a tank top! haha. I want to start baking cookies. That was always so much fun around Christmas baking cookies.

Well that is all for now...

Cooling off in week 6

We camped out on the patio this week because the weather was so nice and cool. It was nice hearing the noises of the outside. We have had the house all opened up this week which is really nice! One day the high was 66!!!! How great is that. Clover actually got to wear warm clothes. I love it when the weather is like that it makes living here not so horrible. We went to the park this weekend and it’s funny how with the change of weather brings out people. All summer there was maybe 2 other people at the park. This weekend there was 30 people there so Maddy did not get to run around.

This week we went to Lashly park in Punta Gorda, to see the traveling Vietnam memorial wall. It was really interesting to go see it. It is amazing how many people gave their lives for our country. I am thankful for all the people who have made this sacrifice and the people who have served. It is a very noble thing to do and those people do not get enough respect and support.

Week 6 was a pretty good week! We had just finished up a weekend of SCREAMING and being completely out of sorts so it was nice to get things back on track this week. I took Clover to the doctor this week for her 1 month check up. She is 10 pounds 1 ounce! She is measuring tall and has a BIG head thanks to her Clapp genes! Haha! The results of her genetic testing came back and she does NOT have MCAD or any other of the genetic disorders they test for. So that is wonderful! We also got the go ahead for sleeping all night! So far we still have one middle of the night feeding. I am hoping in the next couple weeks she will go all night sleeping. (Diana I feel for you! I do not know how you have done it for so long!! You totally ROCK!) She got her Hep B shot as well. She has a hemangioma on her back, it started off as what looked like a pinch on her and it has gotten worse. It is about the size of the tip of my finger and getting bumpy. The nurse said it was normal and it should go away with in a year or so. No let me tell you just take a doctors word for things don’t go doing your own research! Haha! I went on the computer and looked it up and thoroughly freaked myself out! Some of them get HUGE!! I just hope hers stays small. They don’t do anything to them tell they are older because they are so vascular. SO luckily it is on her back and can be covered up. So all in all everything is good with the little monster.

I have decided that I hate not knowing where I am. After the doctor Clover and I needed to go to the post office and stop by to see Aunt Julie at the dive shop. I knew that both those things were near each other but it took me a good 25 minutes to find them both. Egh… I miss knowing where I am. But I am trying to get the hang of it the best I can. Thank god for GPS! Haha.

Well that is all for week 6 on to week 7………

Reflecting on week 5....

Week 5 of this adventure in motherhood was pretty uneventful. I started school this week so that really sucked all my free time. I had been able to take a shower and clean a bit when the monster was napping but now it seems like 9pm rolls around and I am still in my Pajamas and the house is in an ever increasing state of disorder. I think I am going to have to bite the bullet and work on myself and the house during the day then stay up late to work on homework. I hate to do that because then I am just exhausted. Like last night I stayed up until eleven working on homework. I fed her at 9:30 so I set my alarm for 3:00 so I would get up to feed her 6 ½ hours is as long as I want to let her go until we talk to the pediatrician again. I just don’t know if it is ok to let her sleep longer than that. Normally she wakes up on her own around that time so it has not been an issue. But last night I was so tired that I do not even remember turning my alarm off. I woke up at 5am because she was starting to wake up so 8 ½ hours!! So I was worried that she went so long and I figured she would eat a lot. But she was too busy taking a crap and fussing to eat. So I tried the bottle because with that I can tell how much she ate. But she still was not interested. She does not seem to be any different than normal so I put her down and got her back up at 7:00 she ate for 5 mins and then was out like a light. We shall see how she does here in a little bit. If she was acting weird I would be worried but she is fine just maybe a little sleepier than normal. I worry because we have not gotten the results of the MCAD but I would assume that they would have notified us if something was wrong. The joys of motherhood the constant state of worry!!

We celebrated Clover’s 1st Halloween this weekend. It was really nice to have all of the family over to share the evening with us. I made all kinds of neat stuff and we had pizza. Grandma came in a fabulous which hat! Clover was a Giraffe, Carl and I did not dress up this year. Normally we do but I just did not feel like it. It was odd having Halloween without my niece and nephew. My house has been the place to be for Halloween for the past 3 years and I always have them over so they can trick or treat. I have had my moments of truly missing my family and California and Halloween was one of those times. I think I just realized that the holidays are coming and I won’t see any of them for it. Not only will I not see them but they are missing all of Clover’s firsts. They have already missed so much… I do like it here. Carl and I have a much better relationship. I am not stressed like I was. Our house is wonderful. But I do miss California. I miss my family most of all. I have spent my whole life having them right there and now they are not. It makes it hard but I know it will make me a stronger more independent person. Unfortunately, even though I know that in my head my heart does not believe it.

Anyways lets move on from my downer daisy mood. The weather is cooling off and not so humid so that is fantastic!! I truly hate the weather here! If it was less humid and cooler with a breeze like it is today it would not be so bad, but it seems that is not the norm for this place. We have started to get the snow birds back. Carl has had a few run ins with them and he has decided he hates old people hahaha! What a cheerful boy. I hope this cool weather lasts because Fort Myers is having the sand castle competition this weekend. I would love to go see it!! But we are at the mercy of the weather for miss Clover.

Week Three barf..........Week Four shit.....

Well I'am waiting for my dumb computer guy to fix my computer so figured I should use this time to update everyone. I want to try to write something once a week so we shall see how that goes.

So last week we had our first real barf! It was kind of scary to see your kid shoot barf out her mouth and nose! We both had barf all over us and the best thing I could think to do was to get us both into the shower. So that's just what we did. It actually was really cool. She loves being held in the shower! She touches the water and just hangs out then falls fast asleep. I got her out of the shower and wrapped her up in a big pink towel! She looked so cute! I would post pics. but my computer is being fixed and i am on Carls. So no pics. in this post. So the first barf was not that bad. We ended up just hanging out in our towels for a good hour.


This week we had a massive shit explosion!! She managed to shoot poop all over the dresser, wall, carpet, blow dryer, changing pad, me, her, and Poor Maddy. So that was a blast! haha! We had to wash everyone ad everything. It used to gross me out to change my niece and nephues diapers but now I don't mind. I was covered in poop and it wasent gross just another one of those things you have to deal with. It's funny how your perspective changes when you have a kid.

I have come to the relazation that you can not expect to accomplish anything during one day. It seems that everyday just flys by and I get maybe half of what I wanted to do done and thats on a good day. I really hope that gets better! I do miss having my house totally cleaned but I know that there are more important things to be done!

All in all things have been going really well!

Pushing into October 3rd 2009

The day before my daughter was born was absolutely perfect. My sister had flown out on the day before. So we had gotten up early went to the park with Maddy. The weather here was actually really nice for a couple days. We had opened up the entire house it was wonderful to have the breeze flowing through the house. After the park we headed to the beach!! It was so wonderful! I had been having contractions off and on Since Weds. So floating in the water was just perfect! As we swam around Carl spotted a Manta ray it was so cool! It was really big then a few minutes later a baby one swam by. Tarron and I walked the shore of the beach to help get things a moving in the labor department. We saw a neat purple, green, and shinny fish. It was just one of those days where you sit back and say wow this is just Wonderful. We had lunch and my contractions had started back up again. Tarron asked me if I felt ok because she did not think I looked to good. She said she new at lunch that things were happening.

We headed home and when I got in the shower is when the contractions really started to get strong it was about 2 o’clock. I got a little panicky because things were really happening! Contractions are not too bad it was when they got so strong that no matter what I did it did not make them better. I tried to sleep but that was futile. Finally at 2 in the morning we decided to go to the hospital.

When we got there they got me a wheel chair and to the labor and delivery floor we went. I was having lots of contractions and the nurse asked my name and information in the middle of one and Carl answered for me. Boy did that nurse give Carl the look of death. So I was huffing and puffing through the contraction and answering her questions. We got into our room and I was dilated to 4cm! I don’t understand the logic behind our labor hospitals! As soon as I got in the room they strapped me down and would not let me get up! I had to pee several times and the nurse would get all mad at me for getting up! That and laying down made the contractions feel a million times worse! After awhile the epidural doctor came in and the evil nurse had me sit up and undid my gown. I had left my sports bra on and the doc said it had to come off. Which I was fine with. But the nurse was all grumpy and practically ripped it off my head! Then shoved my face into her boobs! Got the epidural and was able to sleep a bit. They checked me again and I was at 7cm. I asked everyone what time they thought the baby would be here and they said 10 and 9 and Carl said 9:36! We continued to wait I tried to sleep here and there. Then the doctor came in and checked me again he said I was at 9cm and decided to break my water. Then when the nurse checked me a short while later I was fully dilated and ready to push. You know that queasy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when something scary, amazing, and exciting is about to happen. I got that! I keep saying over and over again in my head this is really happening! I felt just like I did before my wedding! It was just so unreal. I was crying because I was not sure if I was really ready for all of this. I was so glad that Carl, my sister, and Mama J were all there. I can’t imagine being all alone! So the nurse had Carl and Tarron hold my legs and had me start pushing. Now I will tell you that pushing is so much work it’s not even funny! So I started to push while the nurse disassembled the bed and got ready to deliver the baby. There was so much commotion going on in the room. I could not catch my breath or concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing! It was so hard! I just keep trying to listen to Carl and do what he told me to do! The thing that got me through it all was hearing the excitement in his voice when she started to make her grad appearance! See I kept my eyes closed the whole time! I don’t know why I think it was because I could see my reflection in the big bright lights above me and I really did not want to see any of that business haha! So I was thinking that she was way farther out than she was. I could not catch my breath because my legs were up to my head!! So I was exhausted and just done with the whole thing. I kept asking them to just pull her out!! But no one would listen to me!! Apparently her head was not even out yet haha! So I tried my best to keep pushing when they told me to. I could hear Carl’s excitement grow with every push and that kept me going. I knew I must have been doing something right when everyone got super excited! I remember Carl saying he could see her head. Then finally she came out!!! Now one would think that the worst part was over and you could breath. Nope! They kept my legs up at my head for what seemed like forever! Then you have to push out the placenta. Which is really gross! Once that was out it felt a little better, but yet again the worst part was not over. There was so much commotion. I saw Carl standing by his daughter. The look on his face was priceless! I have never seen so much joy and just true excitement on his face. It made me feel better knowing that I must have done something right.

They put my legs in the stirrups so that helped and let me breath. Then I realized how sweaty I was!! Egh.. It felt so gross!! I heard this sloshing noise and I thought that it was blood on the floor that the doctor was sloshing around in. Everyone laughed at me and told me no! Then the doctor said he needed to give me some shots and stitch me up! That right there freaked me out!!!! All I could think was that I was wrecked forever. I saw my stomach which looked completely hideous!!! And then he gave me some shot in a place you should never need to get a shot!! Haha! I had a second degree tear! I kept asking how bad it was then I freaked and started to cry because I knew I would be wrecked forever and ugly! It is amazing the range of emotions that you go through when you give birth. I decided then that I was done and wanted to go home! The doctor kept telling me I couldent that I needed to be stitched up. He then proceeded to tell me he could close it all up and I said go for it! I never want to do that again!!!! I could care less at that point! I hurt so bad and was so tired all I wanted to do was to go home and all the doctor kept doing was sewing which is a really sick feeling!! Egh… shutters! So finally I got to see my daughter and she was so fat and scrunched up that all I could think and say was sumo baby. She had dark hair and blue eyes weighed 9 pounds 1 ounce and 21 inches. Oh and she was born at 9:36am!! Carl called it exactly to the minute!

Giving birth is one of the hardest things you can physically do, and mentally it is just as hard. You have so many feelings that it is hard to put them into words. All I know is this is just the beginning of my new life as a women, wife, mother, and friend.

Week 38 and trying to keep my chin up.....

Well this week has been lame! I was truely hoping that at my appointment on Tuesday the doc would say I was dilated and things would get a move on. But that is not the case! No dilation what so ever! I also was feeling awful and shaky on Monday and Tuesday. Well I have alot of sugar in my pee. The doctor thinks its because I have not been eating enough. So I need to eat every three hours to keep my blood sugar level even. So I have been doing that and still not feeling alot better. I'm just so tired and have no desire to get things done! I have a math and history final and I just don't want to do it! So I am trying to get things done because hopefully she will be on her way soon! I have an appointment on Weds along with our last birth class. So I will keep you all posted....